Archie Richard Moses

Where to start!?!?  Our beautiful little boy was born ten and a bit weeks ago, and our lives were forever changed.  I'm at a loss to begin to describe how the last ten weeks have been, but it seems like we've come so far in that time.  From a quiet, sweet, sleepy, mysterious little creature that I was petrified to even hold has emerged a still sweet, very alert, happy and inquisitive little boy who recognises us, loves his bath, smiles all the time, hardly cries, gets frustrated when he doesn't get enough milk, makes hilarious noises all night long, and just loves hanging out at looking at lights and having cuddles.  He melts me a hundred times a day, and nothing I have ever done has made me feel so much so intensely.  My life has been flipped on its head, and there is now this constant little presence with me, who I would do anything for.  It's been a process of getting to know each other and working out what he wants and when.  I still have very little idea most of the time, but I'm getting better each day.  It's so easy to be really hard on yourself as a new mum, and I know I have been, but what could be more important than getting this right?
My dad was staying with us when I went into labour and was waiting to hear Archie's first cries outside the delivery suite.  Jamie's mum was also in Sydney and my mum came over from Holland when he was three weeks old and stayed with us for three weeks being the most amazing help (cook, cleaner, maid, laundromat etc).  We've had loads of visitors and amazing support from all our friends here in Sydney, and those who are far away too.
You can see photos from his first six weeks here.  There is just so much to say...  I know we are so lucky to have the baby we do - aside from being perfectly healthy, he is a very happy feeder, and really rarely cries.  We were warned about the "witching hours" with new babies in the early evening, but we hardly had any of that, and Arch really rarely cries, so when he does I find it really distressing.  I've never found a noise so physically uncomfortable.  I can feel it in my chest when he cries and it's such an overwhelming instinct to go to him when he's upset.  Like everyone, he has good days and bad days, but the good days are far more frequent then the bad.  He's nearly doubled his birth weight since being born (!!), and is a breastfeeding demon.  He sleeps well, and has even done one nine hour sleep in the evening.  I'm usually up with him once or twice a twice a night - at around 11 and around three or four in the morning.  But it's pretty variable.  He sometimes wakes up between feeds, but is getting good at settling himself back down - admittedly often aided by a dummy.  I'm also getting better at letting him try to settle himself back down rather than picking him up every time he wakes.  I'm actually amazed by how not tired I feel.  I mean, I'm tired, but my eyes aren't hanging out of my head and it's hard to feel resentful about getting up to feed your baby.  I read somewhere that your hormones help you cope with the lack of sleep, but after so many people carry on about how you'll never sleep again, it's been a pleasant surprise.  That whole "sleep when the baby sleeps" thing isn't happening - it did while my mum was here, but it's just too hard to do when it's just me and there is stuff to do around the house.  And I don't feel that I can't function without it.  It would be nice though...  I'm sure as he gets into more of a sleeping pattern it will happen.
In the early days I really struggled with feeling anxious about pretty much everything, which resulted in a lot of tears from me.  I still do when he has an off day, and I don't know why or if it's something I'm doing.  But I'm getting more confident, and also relaxing a bit.  At the start I was paranoid about creating "bad habits" - I felt terrible about giving him his dummy (even though it instantly relaxed him and stopped him crying), I didn't know how to settle him - in my arms or otherwise, and had been made to feel that settling him in my arms wasn't right.  Thankfully I'm now happy to rock him to sleep in my arms - I actually love it, but I'm trying to not do it ALL the time so that he can learn to put himself to sleep without having to rely on me.  It's not so much for him, but I need to get into good habits with him for when it gets important for him in a few months time.  We have a little night time routine with a bath, massage, story and feed which is so sweet.  The rest we just wing it, based loosely on a three or four hourly feeding structure.
A few things have caught me by surprise - like how much I don't mind spending my days not doing much but feeding and playing with him.  I know I'll need to make more of an effort to get out and do stuff eventually, but right now I'm happy to just snuggle at home and watch him sleep.  He generates an incredible amount of laundry, and staying on top of that as well as managing to have a shower and make dinner every day feels like a great accomplishment.
It's amazing how quickly you get to know your baby - it's amazing how in tune you become with what your baby needs and wants.  Sometimes there is absolutely no clue, but right now, I know him better than anyone in the world, and know what's best for him, and that's a nice thought.
Everyone has so much advice on what is right and wrong, and all these books push their own philosophies.  But as the sensible ones (people and books) keep saying, there is no manual to doing this, and you should just do what feels right for you and what makes you and the baby happy.
I read a blog post the other day by and really related to a couple of things she said - that each stage seems like the best and you never want them to change, and then they get better.  It's hard to imagine him getting cuter or better, and part of me wants him to just stay a little baby.  When his umbilical stump fell off I felt sad about it, when he grew out of his 0000 clothes I felt sad about it - all this change!  All so quickly!  I just want to save up all the lovely moments and smiles and snuggly times.  Already he is so different to when he was born - and it's been such a short period of time.  But I'm sure with each stage I'll think it's the best and the most fun, but I also know I'll look back on this time and wish for it again, so I'm trying to really enjoy it and not wish it away.
The other thing this blogger was saying was that she knows she'll look back in a few years time and see the child she has already there in the baby - not just in looks, but personality, and I know the same will be the case for Archie - it's just that I can't see it now and I am so curious about what kind of a person he is going to be.  What will he look like??  What will he be like??  How will his laugh sound?  Will he like cooking with me?  Will he like soccer or tennis?  Will he be stubborn like his mum and dad?  Will he love to go swimming?  What funny little things will he do that will make us tell stories about him for years to come?  I know it's all there and is going to come out, and that's such a lovely thought.
This is becoming a really long post, so I'll wrap it up, but what I do want to say is that being a mum is lovely.  People (other women mainly) are so negative about it, but it's just beautiful and rewarding and lovely.  It really does get easier, and of course it has its moments, but it's so worth it.  I'm so excited for all my mummy to be friends right now, and can't wait to introduce Arch to everyone soon.  Until then, this is my favourite picture of him (so far).  Is my baby the cutest thing ever or what??