I still remember feeling like this so clearly. It also seems like a lifetime ago. And what I didn't know then, but knew would somehow fall in place is that I'd end up with my little Arch, and everything would be ok. But it's a pretty terrifying road getting there.
Last week I found out I'm pregnant. It still feels weird to write that. Like I'm a fraudster in the mystical world of pregnant ladies. It shouldn't have been at all surprising, but it still surprised the crap out of me. There were no serenely shed tears tears of joy, or thoughtfully wrapped pregnancy tests presented in a romantic way, just a muttered "holy shit" from me, and a husband trying to force me to drink more water so I could do another pee test.
It felt really surreal. Everything else was the same - we were in our house, on our couch, watching our TV, doing what we always do, but I am pregnant.
The signs were there - the most clear of which being that I didn't feel like a second glass of pink Taltarni last Friday night. I don't know that has EVER happened before. Naturally, I went on oblivious in to the weekend - off to have my hair dyed, eat sashimi, and drink whisky sours (which contain the very baby unfriendly combination of both raw egg yolk and whisky). Really, that happened.
God, there is SO much I need to know. And I have to make a decision really soon, like within weeks, about where and how I want to give birth. Private, public, private patient in public hospital, birth centre etc.
I'm feeling cautious about it all because it's so early, but I also feel like I have a little bond already with the. But already I can't get enough of rubbing my belly (which is absolutely no bigger than it has ever been) I am TERRIBLE at keeping secrets though.
