Thursday, May 26, 2011
A note to wealthy recluses everwhere
Don't die alone! Really. I can be a lot of fun, and am happy to travel with you, stay in your big houses, and help spend your money. I am hilarious. Seriously.
Monday, May 23, 2011
If your house was burning and you were a designer and had the inclination to artfully arrange what possessions you'd take with you...
It would look something like this. Which is pretty and nice. But seriously people, get a grip. There is sentiment and there is just plain stupid. There is a lot of crap there. Me, I'd just go for valuable items - computers and jewellery. In fairness, all my pics are on my computer, so there is some sentimental value there. And I'd put everything in my handbags to transport out of said burning house. And then I'd want to know how much time I had left before my house burnt down, and spend it wildly throwing all my clothes out onto the street. Which is presumably not burning.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Gill and Bourdain and Bilson
I see a lot of events and murmur about how we should go to things and get out more, and usually don't end up doing anything about it. But just you try and stop me when I saw that Anthony Bordain and A A Gill were speaking as part of the Sydney Writers Festival, moderated by Tony Bilson.
It was on last night and it was sensational. Bordain and Gill are both quick, full of energy, and importantly, also fully of rage. And they are extremely funny.
We have both read most of Bourdain's books, and I've recently sent around this A A Gill restaurant Review from Vanity Fair as an outstanding example of the genre. I'd only really had a peripheral interest in Gill previously, but he's rocketed way up my list of awesome people. The man is a legend.
The only thing I have to complain about is Bilson. He was *so* out of place with the other two - he was pretentious, scripted and boring. Bordain and Gill left him for dead. He kept trying to inject himself as the third personality in the conversation - I think the fact that he was left twiddling his thumbs at the book signing afterwards while panting fans lined up for Gill and Bordain said it all.
Jamie at one stage very appropriately pointed out that it was the most "things white people like" crowd ever condensed in one place. Which was totally true. Hipster "foodies" as far as the eye could see. It was kind of embarrassing when we went to BBQ King afterwards, and the table of people next to us had just been at the same event and proceeded to have the exact same conversation as Jamie and I had five minutes earlier about how Bilson didn't fit in and how the other two were so awesome. Really, Are we THAT predictable?? Although, with a mouth full of delicious squirting duck skin, I quickly got over my utter whiteness.
It was on last night and it was sensational. Bordain and Gill are both quick, full of energy, and importantly, also fully of rage. And they are extremely funny.
We have both read most of Bourdain's books, and I've recently sent around this A A Gill restaurant Review from Vanity Fair as an outstanding example of the genre. I'd only really had a peripheral interest in Gill previously, but he's rocketed way up my list of awesome people. The man is a legend.
The only thing I have to complain about is Bilson. He was *so* out of place with the other two - he was pretentious, scripted and boring. Bordain and Gill left him for dead. He kept trying to inject himself as the third personality in the conversation - I think the fact that he was left twiddling his thumbs at the book signing afterwards while panting fans lined up for Gill and Bordain said it all.
Jamie at one stage very appropriately pointed out that it was the most "things white people like" crowd ever condensed in one place. Which was totally true. Hipster "foodies" as far as the eye could see. It was kind of embarrassing when we went to BBQ King afterwards, and the table of people next to us had just been at the same event and proceeded to have the exact same conversation as Jamie and I had five minutes earlier about how Bilson didn't fit in and how the other two were so awesome. Really, Are we THAT predictable?? Although, with a mouth full of delicious squirting duck skin, I quickly got over my utter whiteness.
Uncle Karl's wisdom
I've written before about my glee when Karl Largerfeld speaks. The following extract lifted word for word from the Guardian is a string of pearls from Uncle Karl. I just don't even know how to narrow it down to my favourite. It's brilliant.
"Is this the finest fashion interview ever conducted?
As regular readers will know, Fashion Statement has an obsession with the wit and wisdom of Karl Lagerfeld. We love a gnomic tweet from the master of the profound non sequitur almost as much as we love a picture of him going dangerously radical in dark grey leather gloves. But this week we stumbled upon a true treat in Vice magazine - an epic 6,000-word interview with the man himself. And not just by any old hack. No, this meeting of minds took place between his Royal Karlness and Canadian writer, filmmaker, photographer and gay zombie porn director Bruce LaBruce.
The result is surely one of the finest pieces of incisive, probing journalism since Fearne Cotton grilled Peaches Geldof on ITV's seminal news show, Fearne and ...
FS is spoilt for choice when it comes to picking our favourite quotes, but here are our favourite ten things we learned from the interview:
1. Bruce LaBruce has redefined "anti-materialism"
What struck me most about Lagerfeld when I was doing my research was how closely aligned many of my beliefs were with his. Despite owning a private jet and multiple luxury homes, he is anti-materialistic and remains detached from his possessions, particularly as he has become more mature.
Just for the record, when FS wins the lottery, we are going to be totally anti-materialistic about our million-pound home.
2. Communism was all about transparent jumpers
Karl: I had an interview once with some German journalist - some horrible, ugly woman. It was in the early days after the communists - maybe a week after - and she wore a yellow sweater that was kind of see-through. She had huge tits and a huge black bra, and she said to me, "It's impolite; remove your glasses." I said, "Do I ask you to remove your bra?"
FS loves how the recent fall of the Berlin Wall is used as a self-evident explanation for poor fashion taste.
3. Karl is not pretentious
If I were pretentious I would say that I'm not an average person. But really, I know how that is ... I like to know everything; I like to be informed. I am not pretentious. I can speak several languages. I can read in every language.
See? Definitely not pretentious.
4. People dying of starvation is so boring
What does being politically correct mean to you?
It means people talking about charities. Do it, be charitable, but don't make a subject of conversation out of it because then you bore the world to death. It's very unpleasant. But I don't go out a lot so I'm not so exposed to people.
5. Therapists! On standby please!
Bruce: What were you like as a child?
Karl: I was very much like a grown-up. I have photos of me as a child wearing a tie, and it's the same as I am today. And of course I was very successful with pedophilia [sic]. I knew about it when I was ten.
Bruce: So you used it consciously?
Karl: Well, I wouldn't go that far. It was impossible to touch me. I would run away and I would tell my mother about people she knew, like the brother of one of my sister's husbands. Nothing happened, but my mother said, "You know, darling, it's your fault. You see how you behave."
For once, words fail us.
6. Karl doesn't vote. Democracy is doomed
Bruce: Politics is just so business-oriented.
Karl: I'm in fashion. Politics is not my job. I don't vote in France even though foreigners here can. I will never vote in my life.
Bruce: I'm the exact same way.
Karl: Good. I could vote for myself because I know everything about myself. And I can lie to everybody, but I cannot lie to myself.
Sorry, can we just go back to that lovely statement by Bruce LaBruce. "Politics is just so business-oriented"? God yes. All that tedious mucking around with taxes, balancing the books, making sure the economy doesn't collapse, etc. So unnecessary, no?
7. Escorts are for the rich, porn is for the poor
I personally only like high-class escorts. I don't like sleeping with people I really love. I don't want to sleep with them because sex cannot last, but affection can last forever. I think this is healthy. And for the way the rich live, this is possible. But the other world, I think they need porn.
8. Karl: eminent sociologist of our time
Bruce: I admire porn actors.
Karl: Me too, and prostitutes as well. There's a real art to it. Frustration is the mother of crime, and so there would be much more crime without prostitutes and without porn movies.
FS drifts off into mental reverie of Polly Toynbee interviewing Karl on same subject.
9. Karl is an idiot savant
Bruce: There's a boy who's 20 years old; you can see him on YouTube. He'd never seen Paris from the air before and they flew him over Paris in a helicopter. Then they took him to a studio and he drew the entire city. Building by building, street by street.
Karl: I can do that with the antique Greek world.
FS says: Really? The ENTIRE Greek world? PROVE IT, Karl.
10. Or maybe we could just drop the savant
Bruce: Did you study Latin at all?
Karl: When I was 10 or 12 years old I could speak Latin like I speak English. But I cannot speak Latin with French people. I don't understand the way they pronounce it. For me, they don't pronounce it right. But I love dead languages. Homer was one of the first books I read when I was starting to read. I think the Iliad is still one of the greatest books in the world
Homer was "one of the first books I read"? FS is ashamed, as we always thought that Homer was a person, not a book. Then again, we also though the Iliad was written in Greek, so what do we know?"
"Is this the finest fashion interview ever conducted?
As regular readers will know, Fashion Statement has an obsession with the wit and wisdom of Karl Lagerfeld. We love a gnomic tweet from the master of the profound non sequitur almost as much as we love a picture of him going dangerously radical in dark grey leather gloves. But this week we stumbled upon a true treat in Vice magazine - an epic 6,000-word interview with the man himself. And not just by any old hack. No, this meeting of minds took place between his Royal Karlness and Canadian writer, filmmaker, photographer and gay zombie porn director Bruce LaBruce.
The result is surely one of the finest pieces of incisive, probing journalism since Fearne Cotton grilled Peaches Geldof on ITV's seminal news show, Fearne and ...
FS is spoilt for choice when it comes to picking our favourite quotes, but here are our favourite ten things we learned from the interview:
1. Bruce LaBruce has redefined "anti-materialism"
What struck me most about Lagerfeld when I was doing my research was how closely aligned many of my beliefs were with his. Despite owning a private jet and multiple luxury homes, he is anti-materialistic and remains detached from his possessions, particularly as he has become more mature.
Just for the record, when FS wins the lottery, we are going to be totally anti-materialistic about our million-pound home.
2. Communism was all about transparent jumpers
Karl: I had an interview once with some German journalist - some horrible, ugly woman. It was in the early days after the communists - maybe a week after - and she wore a yellow sweater that was kind of see-through. She had huge tits and a huge black bra, and she said to me, "It's impolite; remove your glasses." I said, "Do I ask you to remove your bra?"
FS loves how the recent fall of the Berlin Wall is used as a self-evident explanation for poor fashion taste.
3. Karl is not pretentious
If I were pretentious I would say that I'm not an average person. But really, I know how that is ... I like to know everything; I like to be informed. I am not pretentious. I can speak several languages. I can read in every language.
See? Definitely not pretentious.
4. People dying of starvation is so boring
What does being politically correct mean to you?
It means people talking about charities. Do it, be charitable, but don't make a subject of conversation out of it because then you bore the world to death. It's very unpleasant. But I don't go out a lot so I'm not so exposed to people.
5. Therapists! On standby please!
Bruce: What were you like as a child?
Karl: I was very much like a grown-up. I have photos of me as a child wearing a tie, and it's the same as I am today. And of course I was very successful with pedophilia [sic]. I knew about it when I was ten.
Bruce: So you used it consciously?
Karl: Well, I wouldn't go that far. It was impossible to touch me. I would run away and I would tell my mother about people she knew, like the brother of one of my sister's husbands. Nothing happened, but my mother said, "You know, darling, it's your fault. You see how you behave."
For once, words fail us.
6. Karl doesn't vote. Democracy is doomed
Bruce: Politics is just so business-oriented.
Karl: I'm in fashion. Politics is not my job. I don't vote in France even though foreigners here can. I will never vote in my life.
Bruce: I'm the exact same way.
Karl: Good. I could vote for myself because I know everything about myself. And I can lie to everybody, but I cannot lie to myself.
Sorry, can we just go back to that lovely statement by Bruce LaBruce. "Politics is just so business-oriented"? God yes. All that tedious mucking around with taxes, balancing the books, making sure the economy doesn't collapse, etc. So unnecessary, no?
7. Escorts are for the rich, porn is for the poor
I personally only like high-class escorts. I don't like sleeping with people I really love. I don't want to sleep with them because sex cannot last, but affection can last forever. I think this is healthy. And for the way the rich live, this is possible. But the other world, I think they need porn.
8. Karl: eminent sociologist of our time
Bruce: I admire porn actors.
Karl: Me too, and prostitutes as well. There's a real art to it. Frustration is the mother of crime, and so there would be much more crime without prostitutes and without porn movies.
FS drifts off into mental reverie of Polly Toynbee interviewing Karl on same subject.
9. Karl is an idiot savant
Bruce: There's a boy who's 20 years old; you can see him on YouTube. He'd never seen Paris from the air before and they flew him over Paris in a helicopter. Then they took him to a studio and he drew the entire city. Building by building, street by street.
Karl: I can do that with the antique Greek world.
FS says: Really? The ENTIRE Greek world? PROVE IT, Karl.
10. Or maybe we could just drop the savant
Bruce: Did you study Latin at all?
Karl: When I was 10 or 12 years old I could speak Latin like I speak English. But I cannot speak Latin with French people. I don't understand the way they pronounce it. For me, they don't pronounce it right. But I love dead languages. Homer was one of the first books I read when I was starting to read. I think the Iliad is still one of the greatest books in the world
Homer was "one of the first books I read"? FS is ashamed, as we always thought that Homer was a person, not a book. Then again, we also though the Iliad was written in Greek, so what do we know?"
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Two weddings
In April, we were back in Perth twice for separate weddings. One was reporter friends, and one was uni friends, which had the added benefit of me being able to wear the same thing to both as there were no friends in common who would have judged me for wearing the same dress twice in one month. Said dress is featured below - it's my WEDDING DRESS! I am really pleased with how it turned out.
R+P's wedding was at Rotto, M+A's wedding was in Freo. Both were lovely, and we enjoyed them immensely. Of course it was excellent to catch up with the two different groups of friends too.
Here are the happy couples... (p.s. How awesome is my leopard clutch??? Em and Muz gave it to me for my birthday. Thanks guys. Love)
R+P's wedding was at Rotto, M+A's wedding was in Freo. Both were lovely, and we enjoyed them immensely. Of course it was excellent to catch up with the two different groups of friends too.
Here are the happy couples... (p.s. How awesome is my leopard clutch??? Em and Muz gave it to me for my birthday. Thanks guys. Love)
Chester
I give you Chester. We looked after him over easter. He's a 12 week old groodle... And as you can see, he's totally adorable. You are welcome.
Friday, May 6, 2011
A long time between drinks
Ok, so it's been a while, and there's been lots of stuff happening since last you heard from me. Not least of which involves:
- a royal wedding (troth?!)
- iPad (obsessed)
- two new handbags (deeply in love with both)
- two weddings in Perth (very different, but lovely weddings)
- my 30th (Preeeeeeseeeents)
- puppy sitting over Easter (ARGH!!!)
Looking at that list, it's been a pretty awesome month or two...
So, going through that list in order - I was really dark that I was going to be on a plane to Perth for the royal wedding. I checked with model Qantas employee LD, to see if they would be streaming the wedding live - turns out they don't have the capacity to do that on planes - seriously - the things weigh several tons and FLY, you'd think they could get a tv signal. Luckily, my plane was delayed, but excruciatingly so - the last call to board was just as Kate got in her car. I was madly refreshing the Daily Mail's website on my iPad while sitting in my seat while the hosties were telling me they really needed me to turn it off now please. But I got a full length picture just as they were about to escort me off the plane for not listening to them. I tried getting online when we were in the air and it didn't work. I took my iPad to the toilet and felt really naughty. Probably for the best for the well being of the several hundred people I was on the plane with that it didn't work though.
I thought Kate looked nice. It didn't blow me away. As I've said several times, they are ostensibly both terrifically boring people, so will be perfect to do whatever it is royals do. Tara Palmer-Tomkinson was my hands down favourite on the day. Seriously, bitch brought it big time:
I feel like I've talked about the wedding so much that I've used all my good lines already. I did immensely enjoy reading the Tom &Lorenzo and Go Fug Yourself wrap ups. I ache to be friends with the four people responsible for that content. Call me guys...
So, the iPad. I've said it several times, but I'm not a technologically proficient person, and not at all into gadgets and that sort of stuff. But I LOVE my iPad. It was acquired by work, and not only does it make my working life much easier, it makes PLAY a lot more fun. We have become obsessed with Words With Friends (I'm MarshieJ if anyone wants to play me), and it's just awesome to have something so quick, light, and easy to just whip out whenever you want to jump on the Internet and find anything out. I have got a few cool apps, but I think I can do better in this area. So if you know any awesome apps - tell me!
The bags:
I can't decide which I love more. I keep changing my mind , depending which one I am carrying on the day. But there not one ounce of disappointment with either - which was always going to be a risk when purchasing very expensive items without laying eyes on them first. And a big shout out to DDP and LFT for carting them both back from the UK for me.
Chloe here it butter soft, and quite slouchy (it's stuffed in the pic). It's a good size - I can carry it over my shoulder, and it's lined in grey velvet. Because the snakeskin is quite neutral, it's kinda understated, but it also is still snakeskin = don't mess with this bitch.
Smython is a *perfect* work bag. Sensible with a twist. Beautiful leather. And it also fits over the shoulder very nicely. I really dig on the pleating. It's subtle, but there is no mistake that this is a beautiful item. The iPad fits nice and snugly in here too.
Here is me and the hubby at one of the weddings (Rebecca and Paul's at Rotto). That's MY wedding dress that I had dyed blue. It was a reasonably arduous and expensive undertaking, and at one stage I thought it was a write off, but it totally worked out well, and I'm stoked with it.
I haven't downloaded pics from my camera for a very long time, so I don't have other pics to post, but I will endeavour to do so over the weekend. I'll post about each of the weddings then. They deserve their own posts. As does my 30th, and pictures of Chester the puppy... But I promise you will have them soon.
- a royal wedding (troth?!)
- iPad (obsessed)
- two new handbags (deeply in love with both)
- two weddings in Perth (very different, but lovely weddings)
- my 30th (Preeeeeeseeeents)
- puppy sitting over Easter (ARGH!!!)
Looking at that list, it's been a pretty awesome month or two...
So, going through that list in order - I was really dark that I was going to be on a plane to Perth for the royal wedding. I checked with model Qantas employee LD, to see if they would be streaming the wedding live - turns out they don't have the capacity to do that on planes - seriously - the things weigh several tons and FLY, you'd think they could get a tv signal. Luckily, my plane was delayed, but excruciatingly so - the last call to board was just as Kate got in her car. I was madly refreshing the Daily Mail's website on my iPad while sitting in my seat while the hosties were telling me they really needed me to turn it off now please. But I got a full length picture just as they were about to escort me off the plane for not listening to them. I tried getting online when we were in the air and it didn't work. I took my iPad to the toilet and felt really naughty. Probably for the best for the well being of the several hundred people I was on the plane with that it didn't work though.
I thought Kate looked nice. It didn't blow me away. As I've said several times, they are ostensibly both terrifically boring people, so will be perfect to do whatever it is royals do. Tara Palmer-Tomkinson was my hands down favourite on the day. Seriously, bitch brought it big time:
So, the iPad. I've said it several times, but I'm not a technologically proficient person, and not at all into gadgets and that sort of stuff. But I LOVE my iPad. It was acquired by work, and not only does it make my working life much easier, it makes PLAY a lot more fun. We have become obsessed with Words With Friends (I'm MarshieJ if anyone wants to play me), and it's just awesome to have something so quick, light, and easy to just whip out whenever you want to jump on the Internet and find anything out. I have got a few cool apps, but I think I can do better in this area. So if you know any awesome apps - tell me!
The bags:
I can't decide which I love more. I keep changing my mind , depending which one I am carrying on the day. But there not one ounce of disappointment with either - which was always going to be a risk when purchasing very expensive items without laying eyes on them first. And a big shout out to DDP and LFT for carting them both back from the UK for me.
Chloe here it butter soft, and quite slouchy (it's stuffed in the pic). It's a good size - I can carry it over my shoulder, and it's lined in grey velvet. Because the snakeskin is quite neutral, it's kinda understated, but it also is still snakeskin = don't mess with this bitch.
Here is me and the hubby at one of the weddings (Rebecca and Paul's at Rotto). That's MY wedding dress that I had dyed blue. It was a reasonably arduous and expensive undertaking, and at one stage I thought it was a write off, but it totally worked out well, and I'm stoked with it.
I haven't downloaded pics from my camera for a very long time, so I don't have other pics to post, but I will endeavour to do so over the weekend. I'll post about each of the weddings then. They deserve their own posts. As does my 30th, and pictures of Chester the puppy... But I promise you will have them soon.
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